Hi everyone,

There is no way you would know this if I weren't about to tell you, but you know me... I have to share everything with you. I have actually had to restart this update a couple of times because Darren is looking over my shoulder and just saw the paragraph that I wrote prior to this. When describing the said paragraph he used the words... 'Haven't we got off to a colourful start this week... Isn't that an interesting phrase! Aren't you witty'. Alright..granted, I'm not feeling particularly colourful at the moment, so I was having a hard time writing anything.

There are many reasons for the blandness that is today.

I will share some of them with you:

1) We are on a small plane (which as we all know, I hate!) On the small plane there are a few sick people. I am not one of them, so I have been relegated to being the nurse. Daniel is one of the ill people so we must take care of him. Darren, on the other hand is not ill, so I must sit beside him to ensure that none of the sick people come near him. I'm very busy and he is jealous that my time is being taken away from him. He is also obsessed with NOT getting sick again so is spraying his throat at regular intervals with Cepacol. I fear that doing this will completely numb his vocal chords and he will lose the power of speech. On top of all of this, Colin, our sound engineer is trying to talk the pilot into doing a 360 degree spin in the plane, "because, apparently these little jets are capable of that.." Sadly though, Alessia, our air hostess has informed us that we won't be able to fly upside down today due to the presence of a number of heavy trolleys containing expensive Russian Caviar that nobody wants to eat anyway. You can imagine how upset I am about this.

2) We have just left Naples. We were lucky to get out of there alive.

We have decided (and I know I have shared this with you in the past), that the Italians really ARE the craziest drivers in the world.

Last night we were running late for a television show, so, as generally happens to us when we are running late for tv shows... the record company organised a police escort. Trust me.. you DON'T want to have a police escort in Naples! Not only did the cars NOT get out of the way...but they tried to use our OFFICIAL POLICE ESCORT as a way to get home from work quickly. The were actually cutting us off...from OUR OFFICIAL POLICE ESCORT. Darren...at one point with his Celine Dion-esque paranoid vocal chords screamed out to several other drivers..."we're a part of the #$%ing THING!!!".... I think he was trying to say that we were part of THE OFFICIAL POLICE ESCORT.. It just didn't matter. Dying child or Michael Jackson...these motorists didn't seem to respond to our Presidential-like motorcade. Oh well. Darren eventually freaked out at the police officer and told him to slow the HECK down (but he used a much stronger word than that..). We arrived at the t.v show and waited 2 hours to perform. Pheww. Lucky we had that OFFICIAL POLICE ESCORT.

Latin America. What can I tell you about that? It is an amazing place... Our first stop was Sao Paulo where the band performed a gig that shall now now be referred to as the most impressive crowd reaction to a Savage Garden performance EVER. Darren is obsessed with Brazil anyway....he says it's ALL ABOUT BRAZIL all the time...and I'm beginning to understand why. The fans are soooo into the music...and the culture is soooo relaxed. I will tell you about Rio in a moment. Latin America in general was incredible. Mexico City was a little scary. Crazy actually. Darren and Daniel were completely mobbed.. in fact, and I know that this is already common knowledge on the BBS.. while we were in Mexico, quite a few over enthusiastic fans banged so hard on the plate glass window of a room that Darren was sitting in conducting an interview, that they smashed it. They then proceeded to storm the room.. but LUCKILY Darren was whisked out of there by the record company.

..... FAST FORWARD TO FOUR DAYS LATER... ONCE AGAIN WE ARE ON THE JET FLYING TO PORTUGAL....

At the moment Daniel and Anna are arguing about who won the chess game that they recently played. Quite frankly I couldn't care less. I'm having a hard time writing the update this week (or month.. as it has been that long). I don't know why.. but I'm trying to pull myself out of the writing rut.

Okay... here I go, struggling to climb out of the rut, I'm actually appealing to everyone around me for help with the writing of this update.. but as is usual for me.. NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME!!!! Ha.. our tour manager, Sneaky, is looking over my computer screen trying to see what I'm writing. There is never any privacy around here.

Oh hang on.. Daniel wants me to tell you all that he has become very funny lately (especially since his recent dramatic recovery). In fact, every time he gets on a private jet he is handed a new sense of humour at the door, along with the sleep enhancer spray he is insisting on spraying on us. I don't know.... it's just non stop fun here, we are all constantly rolling around the aisles laughing at him. He really is such a clown.

Darren on the other hand has taken up reading in front of everyone. We find it boring when he is like this. I prefer him when he is craving attention.. it brings me great joy. I'm going to try and distract him from reading to see if he'll lend me a hand with this update. I've decided that I must resort to the sad, pleading, but always cute face.

It didn't work, he is ignoring me.

But he has agreed to participate in a competition with Daniel. They have asked me to judge who can moon walk better with their fingers. I can't tell..they are both very good at it. To be honest with you.... my care factor about this one is zero as well (yep..blandness is still firmly intact).

Excellent.. Darren is throwing a tantrum because I didn't say he was the best. We are all currently being fired for insolence. I'll be back as soon as my employment has been reinstated.

Right.. let me get onto what we have been doing. Highlights of the past month will follow in point form as I am finding it hard to construct paragraphs:

** Anna and I were robbed by a gang of thieves in Kuala Lumpur. We had SUCH a great night out there and were at a club dancing when our bags were pick pocketed. The unfortunate thing for me about this pick pocketing event, was that I insisted I put Darren's wallet in my bag so that he wouldn't lose it. Of course, the one thing that was stolen from me was Darren's wallet. I was very unpopular the next morning and it put a dampener on our trip there, which was otherwise a lot of fun.

** Major highlight of the Latin American trip was Rio. Considering we are all Australians, it was amazing how EXCITED we were at the prospect of four hours on the beach. We arrived at our hotel, which overlooked the ocean, and were in our rooms for two minutes before we headed down to the beach. What a beautiful, relaxing, place Rio is. The people are so friendly, exotic and laid back, the weather is so perfect (or at least it was for the one day we were there)....

OH MY GAWWWWD! This is Darren....I can NOT handle her rambling on any more. It's getting quite sad really isn't it? Leo..Leo Leooooooooo hellooooo? The fans are about to kill you...or be mutineers and become Backstreet Boys bbs-goers. You have been quite reticent with your updates and now no one is reading them anymore. So I'm going to spice things up again.

Here's a story.

Did you know that Karl our drummer had his shoes stolen once in New Orleans. This is what happened. It was 3.00am, and a drunk man asked him if he could try Karl's shoes on. For some strange reason Karl thought this was a reasonable request and obliged. The man promptly ran off with Karl's DKNY trainers and was never seen again.This happened to the man who was once attacked by a shrimp. Th same guy who also rendered himself unconscious by trying to put on his underpants in the dark of night.

Two members of our band are now currently sporting waxed chests and matching FUBU bags. They are beginning to act like each other now and I'm finding it quite disturbing.

I managed to amuse myself on the airport bus the other day by making farting noises with B1 and B2 (Ben and Lee). The rest of our crew were not amused.

Laurie Berry has now joined our traveling party and is causing Leonie considerable concern. You see....Laurie is THE MOST ORGANISED PERSON I'VE EVER MET. I think Leo is feeling a little threatened. Example. The other day we won this radio award. When we got to the airport Leonie ran up to me proudly saying "Look what LAURIE left in the dressing room!! Lucky I FOUND IT!!!" Leo then dropped the award on the ground shattering it to pieces. Laurie informed me later on that although she did leave the award in the dressing room...it was she who actually rescued the award from the TRUNK OF THE CAR at the airport. Instead of blaming our Leo...she kept her mouth shut. UNTIL LEONIE STABBED HER IN THE BACK. Watch out kids. The personal assistant death match has begun.

Someone stole my Rolex watch...my expensive Maharishi jacket and my Gucci shirt by the way. From a hotel..or an airport. Whoever you are. I HATE YOU.

That's it from me.

I'm going to wrap up the update. After Rio we went all over Europe...had some fun and some stress. Saw the finished Crash And Burn video...IT'S AMAZING...and annoyed some fans in Spain (but if you read my letter on the bbs you'll understand what I'm talking about..)

The tour starts soon in Japan...and I'm very excited. But I'm just about to take two whole weeks off so I really have to run.

Leonie sends her regards. She's currently sleeping.

She asked me to say this.

Byeee...

P.S. As you can see, there are no photos this week. It is the usual reason. Leo's computer has crashed. The photos cannot be downloaded.. they will be sent to you at a later date.

We promise.