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I've had the most perfect day. I'm home in Australia with my family all around me. I spent the day with my niece and nephew seeing 'Peter Pan' at the movies, hangin' out at the mall, shopping for Christmas and just being a regular normal brother/uncle/son. It's so weird to be happy. It's been so long since I've felt this way. Let me back track. I sat in the car with my mother yesterday, driving out to visit my brother and listening to my new record. As we made the hour long drive out there we had sat through the entire record and I realized how hard it must be for a mother to hear her son cry musically.. to ache or to yearn as some of the songs on this new record do. And she cried a little and I realized that I really do use my music as a way to communicate to everyone. And even though a lot of the songs on the record describe a journey in and out of darkness I am ultimately a very happy and grateful soul. I found myself reassuring my mother that I was o.k and telling her that in some ways I get it all out with the music and then I move forward. And then there I was watching 'peter pan' about the boy who never wanted to grow up. And I'm aware of the cliche's surrounding such a complex.. and yet it moved me on so many levels because that theme is very central to me. I always thought that growing up meant losing some of your innocence. Yet here I am 31 years of age and I am an adult. I'm somewhat cynical. I'm wiser. But I haven't lost my innocence. I'm finally taking stock of the last few years that almost killed me and yet provided such an beautiful catalyst for this new album, and more importantly.. this incredible perspective I have on my life and what really matters. And that's where I am today. I just feel at peace. I'm accepting that happiness is not mindless joy. It is not some elusive nirvana of perfection and romantic sunsets. It is flawed. Beautifully. It is bitter and sweet. And it's such a great time to express that... here in this holiday season where (regardless of religion) we find ourselves reconnecting and gathering in this ritual. For me, it's about returning 'home' and taking time to appreciate my life and my blessings. Here are some of them just this week. Doing yoga with my sister and her children and watching her 6 year old son meditate with his hands in prayer position. Reading him 'how the grinch stole Christmas' tonight and having him tell me why presents weren't important but family was. Reading through all my fan mail, running into strangers in the street who still know my name... and just feeling the most incredible gratitude for your unconditional love. Watching old Savage Garden footage with the children and thanking God I had no idea how huge we were when we were on top of the world.. still in awe of everything that ever happened. So that's where my head is at. Happy. That the glass is half full. And yet half empty. Finally at peace with that. I wish you all the love in the world. xxalways |